Saturday, July 23, 2011

Bigger than my greatest conception

I took a philosophy of religion class and started reading The Tao of Physics this summer. I've come away from those two experiences with a better idea of what this feeling around me is. It's life. There's this force to life. It's God for those who believe and it's just how life goes and it's a concept. I think it's mostly intangible. I can't touch the feeling that there is so much beyond my understanding. I cannot comprehend all that goes on in even a fraction of a second in my town. That's too many interconnected life. There are backstory and a direction to each action. The reason. It doesn't matter whether or not it's conscious. A reason is as simple as just going with life as it seems to be going. Going is a reason. There is a reason to everything. Does that matter? I find reasons more interesting to study, but I'm not sure that they're terribly important. Sometimes it doesn't matter why something is done. Rather, that it is done.
I disagree with many Christians when it comes to Eastern thought. I like meditation. I think it's nice to just be present and appreciate life for what it is right now. Is that so different from thanking God for a moment? The only difference is between just being and thanking for the ability to be. At least that's how it seems to me. There's a spectrum to just about everything, of course.
Now that that bit of my mind is out, I'm going back to knitting while watching "Art and Copy".
Until the next post, and as always, take care. :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

A load off my heart

I'm surrounded by books, yarn, bags, loose paper, and pens: stuff. On my laptop, I have a copious amount of downloaded content. Starting last night I've been clearing a bunch of it out. Deleted, not put onto my external hard drive.
You have to understand that I had 4015 unplayed episodes of podcasts, and 3600+ songs. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. I could easily explain how I acquired all of it, but I really can't call it all mine. Not the podcasts anyway. I love music, so I had listened to all of those songs at least once. My dad passed on a lot of classical music to me and I found out that there are these people on newgrounds that make amazing music. I got rid of the stuff I never listen to and I feel better. It was part of me once, but I'll go find it when I feel the need to. Not having it in sight is enough. (Note: Do not let me go to the garage)
As for the podcasts, I still can't consider some of them really mine. I downloaded them, but that's it. I had no attachment to them. How can one listen to 4000 episodes of anything when about 20 new episodes are being added every week? I know I can't yet, so I got rid of the language-learning podcasts that I knew I couldn't get through soon. Really, I only needed to delete 2 podcasts, a French one and Latin one, to get down to about 1240 episodes. Much better. I'm still going through everything, but it feels better to be down 16 gb of "junk" at least.
It's the same with books. I don't feel like I own a book until I've really absorbed it properly. It's dead until I've made it part of my life. Stuff belongs to its maker, but the makers don't make memories. Their letting go allows memories to be made.
This all is just to say that I've been cleaning. I frequently clean, but I also frequently allow things to get a bit messy. I feel better now that I've let go of some stuff.
Now I'm off to actually enjoy the rest of a lecture. I love
Until the next post, and as always, take care. :)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Thoughtful Post Time

I have a tendency to blog after midnight or in the middle of the day when my mind is wandering and loses its sense of shame. I.e. when I'm sleepy. Not today! It's the middlish of the day, but I am not sleepy. I had less than 4 hours of sleep, drank a cafe mocha, turned in a paper, stayed awake during class, and now I've made a fairly detailed study plan. I will crash soon because I've been too productive for the past 14 hours. Until that happens, I'd like to talk about advice I've been given.
First, list:
1. No matter the cost, go to the best school possible.
2. Study what you love and study it with all your might.
3. Relax.
4. Be confident. If you're not, think about who you want to be and own that person.
5. Never ever ever ever ever ever let your significant other tell you how to look. Their opinion is not law. If you feel better when you cut your hair a certain way and it's that important to you, don't compromise. Happiness is better than obedience sometimes.
6. Seize every opportunity while you're young. Want to dye your hair? Do it! Want to travel? Do it!
7. Put your education as high on your list of priorities as you can.
8. Don't be afraid to make friends for the sake of being connected to someone who might help you later. Just remember to thank them.
9. Respect your body.
10. You're never too old to learn something that changes your life. Accept change and mistakes. I.e. always learn.
11. If you don't want to fill your mind with something, don't. It's sometimes okay to be a bit ignorant.
12. Plan and use that plan when you can. 
13. You can do it because others have. You' aren't special in thinking that you can't do what you want and need to do.
14. Keep baking supplies around at all times so that you can completely enjoy bra-less moments. (This one is mostly a joke).
There's more, but that's all I can recall from the past week.
Until the next post, and as always, take care. 8)